Effective communication in relationships is a learnt skill that can be modified and enhanced throughout our lives. It is influenced by a persons beliefs, culture and thoughts. It is easy to consider Communication skills to be inbuilt, something we don’t need to learn, but even though basic skills are learnt from the day we are born successful communication requires more than those we are born with. Effective communication in relationships involves a wide range of activities that can vary in method and use from one context to another and our interpersonal relationships rely on effective verbal and non-verbal communication.

Improving communication in relationships is done by expanding our awareness of what verbal and  non-verbal communication we use everyday. Discussions can Bec one heated as communicating your feelings with a partner or loved one it can be emotional and difficult to do. It is common to be caught up in thinking about what to say next in order to get a  point of view across, to prove who is right and who is wrong. often we do not leave any space for the other person. This can be particularly true when you are feeling angry.

How to Communicate Well

  • Be curious about the other person’s perspective and ask questions try to understand their point of view.
  • Really listen to the other person with the same care and compassion you want them to listen to you.
  • Share your understanding of the other persons perspective. eg “I hear what you are saying is ….. is that right?”
  • Acknowledge the other person’s feelings and your own.
  • Check if he/she understands what you are saying.
  • Be clear and direct.



  • Speak for yourself, use “I” statements eg “I am feeling very anxious and frustrated. When you don’t let me know you will be late home from work, I worry that something might have happened to you.”
  • Avoid the use of blaming statements and criticisem  eg “You are so selfish (criticising). You never take the trouble to call me to say you will be late .  it’s all your fault (Blaming). Can’t you spare one minute of your precious time (sarcasm)”
  • Rather than comment about the person, talk about the actual behaviour which is upsetting.  E.g.“When you are home late I…..” (behaviour) rather than “You are so selfish …” (person).


If you would like more information  about effective communication in relationships or would like to make an appointment you can contact Diana by telephone or email.

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