How to Respond When Your Partner Won’t Attend Counselling
Are you considering separation? Are you wanting to try couples counselling but your partner is reluctant to attend?
The stress of relationship difficulties can sometimes result in a situation where one or both people feel that separating is the only answer. This is a big step to take and it is often at this critical stage of the relationship that couples seek help. But what if one person doesn’t want to attend counselling, for whatever reason… should the other go ahead by themself?
Too frequently what stops one person from attending counselling at this time is their opinion that if their partner really cared and valued the relationship they would attend counselling together. It is not always this black and white and there can be many reasons why some people are fearful and not wanting to attend counseling: they my be fearful they will be judged in some way by the counselor; they may find it difficult to able to say clearly what is happening for them; they may feel uncomfortable having to talk about personal issues; they are using denial of problems as their way of coping, seeing a counsellor makes this coping strategy hard to continue with.
The simple answer is YES there is real value in one half of a couple seeking help
whenever there is any type of threat to the safety and stability of their relationship.
Just as relationship or couples counselling can assist both people to gain insight into their present difficulties, individual relationship counselling can be of benefit for the same reason. Issues that are affecting your relationship can be discussed and the counsellor can help you improve your communication and listening skills and help you to become more aware of how you may promote or inhibit effective communication with your partner at times.
Increasing your understanding of who you are, how you got to be the person you are and communicate the way you do all, along with the acquisition of some practical skills you can use at home, all are valuable in assisting you to support better communication between youself and your partner.